Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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