If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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