How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
