sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
