he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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