my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
