Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
