And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
