I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
