If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Rumble strips road head = magical
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
