Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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