So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
