So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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