Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
