When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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