Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
