I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize