Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it's great music for shaving your balls
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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