I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
