wat bout pragnant strippers??
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
