today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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