You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
