so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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