i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize