i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
