i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
