So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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