Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i think i have herpe
just one?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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