You don't have asthma, your pregnant
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
