And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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