All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
