What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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