so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
