i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
