I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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