Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
