She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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