I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
