This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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