if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
