I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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