you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
