Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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