I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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