apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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