guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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