I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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