Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
