You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
