You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
