the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
