WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
