Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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