addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
