i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
