i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
