i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
