We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
