Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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