I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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