is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
