why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
