YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
